Struggles of Comparison

It’s everywhere isn’t it? The struggle of comparison.  I always thought it was just me, but I don’t believe that much anymore. I first thought it was because I was such a sensitive person. And yes, by sensitive, I mean super hyper-sensitive. Like an empathetic hyper-sensitive person. If you have never looked into this then I’d imagine you don’t struggle from this. I’d also imagine that you don’t have an idea where I’m coming from. Maybe you’re a millenial? Maybe you aren’t. That’s ok. For many years I didn’t know myself. I thought there was something wrong with me. That I was messed up from my past. That I wasn’t mentally strong enough. That I was a *snowflake….

But I’ve come to realize that snowflakes are beautiful.

close up photography of snowflake
Photo by Egor Kamelev on

Have you ever went through and looked at pictures of snowflakes? They are all so different from each other, yet they all come from the same basic components. They each hold their own beauty. They have their own intricate patterns. Something I just can’t imagine came out of nowhere-from a big bang in the center of this universe. Something that displays such a detailed design. Each one. And if you’re capitated by this the same way I am, take a trip down youtube lane-just be careful and use discernment…

See, I am a snowflake. Maybe that gives you a negative connotation of me? I’m not sure. I know that I have many struggles I have to face every day. I know that I’m trying to do what is best for my kids and for my family. I know that my children come first. I know that I see other people around me doing life so much better than me. I know that when I see this I often feel inadequate and it knocks me down. Especially when those people are my family.  And especially when you know those people well enough that you know that their comments passed in conversation with you, are made in an attempt to lift themselves up while making you feel less….

I’ve come to realize that we are all a little messed up. No matter what. There are those people out there who are all so pretty and well packaged. They have all the bells and whistles. They have all the extra-curriculars down pat, the volunteering, the church going, the soup suppers, the coaching opportunities, the youth groups,  the family get together’s that you somehow always miss out on. But I realize these people are hurting too. And that something about you, pokes a great big hole in their scabbed over, non-healed hurt.

woman standing on brown wooden plank
Photo by Kilian M on

In this life, no one is perfect. What has helped me most is knowing this and letting go. I don’t need to know someone else’s hurt to make myself feel better. We all face our own mountains in this life, and I believe that is what God has placed in our lives for us to overcome. Not in an evil sense, but to grow and come to a place where we can hear him. Where we go to him instead of our vices. Where we can truly be ourselves. And once we can conquer this, we go out into the world and show others they can do the very same thing.

I’m no where near the point I can go out and tell you how to overcome the issues you face in your life. But I can tell you I’ve faced my fare share of issues. And the only thing, the ONLY thing that has truly helped to heal that hole is GOD. His love, his words, his encouragement is what keeps me going. What helps me to forgive others, even if I’m the one who is holding resentment. To let myself forgive. To let myself look past the offense that I believe those close to me have put one me. Because, maybe they didn’t mean it like I thought, but because that is what I think, that is my truth, and that is what I must overcome. We are put on this earth to love people, as much as we love ourselves. We must overcome the heavy burdens we place on ourselves to look past the things we think people have done to us. If we can’t do this, we will remain stuck and not flourish. I’m asking you now, for my sake, as well as yours. OVERCOME. Download a bible app called YOUVERSION bible. It has so many plans to help you overcome depression, sadness, frustration, anger, instabilitly. This has helped me more than anyone will every know. When I was new in my faith, I had a difficult time reading the bible from front to back to figure out what I needed to do in this life to face my own battles. It was hard. But since I happened to find this app, it has helped me tremendously. I will not say it has fixed my life. Because it hasn’t. But it has given me the tools I needed to put things into perspective. I truly hope this helps you, because I understand your struggles.